Sunday, February 25, 2007

9 below zero this morning and not a cloud in the sky. Beautiful.

I had promised myself, as a birthday present (yes, you forgot to send a card...it's not too late), that I would write more. More for me, than for you, but everyone has figured that out by now. Anywho, I figured I must tell you that I had one of the most exciting afternoons in recent history, as I learned a new sport, and brought Maggie, our Blue Healer mix along. We Skijorred(sp?) today. Please see Lisa and Ken's post here for more info. It was fantastic. Maggie not only ran along with me and the skis, but she actually pulled me! This is the best exercise ever. Maggie does all the work, and I claim that I cross country skied for an hour. Sweet.

Monday, February 19, 2007

The horror...the horror...

Anna Nicole Smith. So this is what it takes to drive me back to the keyboard. You may be unaware, as this issue has been somewhat under-reported in the news lately. Anna Nicole (I use the familiar tense, as we are all somewhat familiar with her, aren’t we?) passed away, not unsurprisingly, but serendipitously for the news channels.

My beef (or le boeuf as the French call it) is that I run in the mornings. I run on a treadmill at a local gym. I run on a treadmill at a local gym in front of a bank of televisions. I run on a treadmill in front a of a bank to televisions that have nearly beaten me to death with the latest on Anna Nicole.

These televisions are what keep me entertained, and provide the mental detachment from my legs and the pain they suffer. This past week, however, has been a nightmare. The three televisions, TVs in the common sense, that I watch, invariably show three channels: VH1, CNN Headline News, and Fox News. None of these embody the height of our civilization, but generally they keep me up to date on pop culture and make my run pass quickly. VH1 has three shows: The White Rapper Show, I Love New York, and The Surreal Life. They have only been showing the Surreal Life, and I am just as sick of Ron Jeremy as the other characters (yes, “characters” on a “reality” show…doesn’t quite make sense, does it?) on the show. The other two channels have been bombarding us 24/7 with “breaking news” of the ANS case. This morning I found out that Howard K. Stern had left the house in the Bahamas and footage was to follow, only to be updated 30 minutes later that in fact he has not left the house, but must leave to go to court tomorrow. I'll be there waiting.

Two news channels, showing only ANS! My only reprieve last week came in the form of not one, but two high speed chases (one in Florida, one in Houston…go figure) that, thank God, lasted almost exactly 30 minutes. These allowed for a brief respite before the debate over what should be done with her body raged on.

Finally, I would like to go on the record at this point by publicly acknowledging that I do not think that I am the father of Anna Nicole’s unfortunate child (oh, by the way, Daniellynn, what the hell kind of name is that? Sorry kid.), but I will leave it to Fox and CNN to debate the “truth.”