I see dead people

In the hospital, I often take care of very ill people. I am used to this. It is what I do. There is nothing inherently spiritual, or selfless, or noble about it, everyone needs a job and this is what I have chosen. It fits me surprisingly well. I am generally happy when I work, despite the misery that often surrounds me. I see very little in the way of preventive care or the walking well ( or walking ill for that matter), so I have taken some forays into other jobs (moonlighting, if you will) to keep up my skills and interests. I am covering an ER in a small Alaskan town this evening and expected to see a handful of patients, read my journals, maybe some of my book (The Sex Lives of Cannibals; Adrift in the Equatorial Pacific...check it out), and write.
Now here I find myself, nearly midnight, a surprisingly exhausting day, and pondering why the man I just coded in the ER died. I've been told that there is maybe one code every couple of months. What are the odds that it came on my shift (alright, 1/60 - 1/90 smart ass) and why did it happen on my shift? I'm just the temp. This is my first day here. We always forgive the waiter if he/she slips up on their first day. What happens when a patient dies on a doctor's first day? Mind you that this gentleman was dead and had undergone CPR for upwards of 30 minutes by the time he got to me, but will this reflect poorly on my permanent record? I don't mean to be irreverent, but that's what comes after 42 hours with 3 hours of sleep in the middle, and it's what helps many of us survive the part of our job that smells like vomit on your shoes.
I still like what I do. I don't know why, but I do. I also still want to go to Australia and won't stop pushing it until everyone of you has weighed in and passed this address along to your friends. Cut and paste now, and make my day a little better. http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/gxwK64d9-io

Good night.