They won't stop crying...
The babies won't stop crying. Jackson won't stop crying. To say that I am a little overwhelmed this evening would be akin to saying that hemorrhoidectomy smarted a little bit. There is an innate sense of panic when that crying pitch is hit. It is much like the instinctive reaction to a rattlesnake's rattle or any other situation that drums up the fight or flight instinct. Additionally, I feel helpless for a number of reasons. 1) Babies don't listen to me. 2) 2 1/2 year old's don't listen to me. 3) I have nothing to barter to stop the crying. 4)My milk hasn't come in yet.
This was one of those nights where you start to realize that the loss of control that results in child abuse is not so far from home. That said, I am fortunately cognizant enough to know when to walk away, and have endless resources to give me the break I need, to prevent the unthinkable. But I have to say that I understand a little.
What happens when you place a young "adult," barely outside of childhood themselves, in this position? What tools have they learned over the years that would prepare them to manage this situation appropriately? Throw in lack of education. Throw in poor parental modelling. Throw in substance abuse. This is why child abuse happens. To note, not all abusers are young, poorly educated drug addicts (smokin' the reefer). There are some older ones too, but I sense a lot more malice in their position. Can the damage that leads an individual to child abuse be repaired. I have seen this many times. First in my former life as a Forensic Scientist (not to be confused with Scientologist), and now as a Family Physician. I have seen many devastated lives, children and adults.
Birth control in the water. Parenting licenses. Abstinence "agreements". Forced sterilization. Anyone know the data regarding countries with the least amount vs. countries with the greats amount of abuse? There aren't a lot of regulatory means, and we don't seem to be set up real well in this country to educate our way out.
Sorry, kind of a depressing way to start this series on kids (please note that this is part of an agreement I made as part of some family leave from work). The babies have stopped crying, and Jackson is asleep. We were fighting off whale sharks (he knows that they are actually krill feeders and nearly harmless) to our last waking moment tonight. Everyone is much more peaceful when they are sleeping. I hope to get to that point some day. Pictures tomorrow.
This was one of those nights where you start to realize that the loss of control that results in child abuse is not so far from home. That said, I am fortunately cognizant enough to know when to walk away, and have endless resources to give me the break I need, to prevent the unthinkable. But I have to say that I understand a little.
What happens when you place a young "adult," barely outside of childhood themselves, in this position? What tools have they learned over the years that would prepare them to manage this situation appropriately? Throw in lack of education. Throw in poor parental modelling. Throw in substance abuse. This is why child abuse happens. To note, not all abusers are young, poorly educated drug addicts (smokin' the reefer). There are some older ones too, but I sense a lot more malice in their position. Can the damage that leads an individual to child abuse be repaired. I have seen this many times. First in my former life as a Forensic Scientist (not to be confused with Scientologist), and now as a Family Physician. I have seen many devastated lives, children and adults.
Birth control in the water. Parenting licenses. Abstinence "agreements". Forced sterilization. Anyone know the data regarding countries with the least amount vs. countries with the greats amount of abuse? There aren't a lot of regulatory means, and we don't seem to be set up real well in this country to educate our way out.
Sorry, kind of a depressing way to start this series on kids (please note that this is part of an agreement I made as part of some family leave from work). The babies have stopped crying, and Jackson is asleep. We were fighting off whale sharks (he knows that they are actually krill feeders and nearly harmless) to our last waking moment tonight. Everyone is much more peaceful when they are sleeping. I hope to get to that point some day. Pictures tomorrow.
posted by rob at 11:49 PM
2 Comments:
I would imagine country-to-country comparisons are complicated by (sometimes radically) different cultural norms and laws. One place's abuse is another's discipline.
Good luck.
Excellent point, but aren't our cultural norms the correct ones?
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